Waiting

I tried to find a poem or quote about waiting, about anticipation...
But why do they all make it seem like a negative thing?
I'm not one of those girls who has been planning her wedding since age 10,
Dreaming...yes. Waiting...yes. Hoping...definitely.
At 17 I started praying for him...for his health, his faith, his respect for me.
And then those prayers were answered...
All wrapped up in a box with the contents being so completely unexpected.
A surprise. Something I waited for.

So, why is it such a negative thing?
"Expecting is the greatest impediment to living.
In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today. "
How do you suppose I'm losing today?
Just because I know that there are only 8 days left until I leave for Thailand...
14 days until I can publicly express my trust, my heart and my dreams to be shared with another?
Is that such a bad thing?
I don't think so...

Waiting... Anticipating... Hoping...
To me, it's the discovery of newness -
Not a replacement of self or the beginning of a new life,
But a symbol of joining two hearts with common dreams -
To make our sliver of the world just a little bit better.
To look beyond ourselves and acknowledge the silent pleas of those in pain.
To be an example of a true marriage, like the ones that have inspired me.
A cord of 3 strands is not easily broken.

So, I'm going to be the one to write a poem about anticipation, waiting...
....in a positive light.
I'm going to view it as an opportunity for growth, for hope, for newness.
Like cooking your favorite food and waiting for that first bite.
Like hiking to the top of a mountain and anticipating the view.
Like seeing your first ultrasound with excitement for what you are privileged to keep.
Like training, practicing, fine-tuning to see that end result.
My anticipation is real and true and burns through me.

I have not lost a single thing.

Destination Thailand

Just 15 more days until I leave for my romantic destination celebration in Thailand! Unbelievable! This month of May that I thought was going to drag on for ages actually passed quite quickly...must be the bazillion things on my "To Do" List! Now I don't want to underestimate the stressfulness that ANY bride has gone through in planning a wedding ceremony...it's a lot of work, right? But I do want to tell you some of my experiences in planning a cross-cultural ceremony in a THIRD country! People have always told me that my ideas are too ambitious... Nah!

After several weeks of watching the news and hourly updates on the political situation in Thailand, it looks like we are finally able to be cautiously optimistic... Thank goodness! This "peace" could not have come any sooner... How in the world do you go about making a Plan B for a ceremony with people flying in from 3 different countries and more than 10 beginning destinations? And not only that...how do you take 6 months of preparations and squish them all into 3 weeks? I'm so thankful that we don't have to worry about this...thanks to all of you who were lifting this up.

Some of the logistics involved in planning our wedding celebration:

* LANGUAGE. At our wedding we will have 32 people from 4 different countries speaking at least 5 different languages (or dialects). This means we are translating everything! Not only do we need to think about how to say and do everything in our mother tongue, but we also need to account for that 2nd native language. We have two officiants, one speaking English the other translating to Chinese. We have programs and menus made in both English and Chinese. We have very carefully orchestrated seating arrangments for the reception so that everyone will be comfortable using at least one of their languages, without feeling isolated. We are going to try to say our vows in both languages (which means I have to say them in Chinese, yipe!) We have an MC for the reception who can speak both English and Chinese (she's German, by the way). Oh! And I forgot to mention...along with coordinating everything in Chinese and English, I am working alongside my wedding planner who is Thai which means that her English is also a bit broken therefore communication, at times, requires some repetition!

* COORDINATION. As I mentioned, our guests are coming from 3 different countries. Even though my wedding planner is amazing and has done a ton to make this trip easier, most of the logistics, coordination and decision-making still falls on Tony and I. We have helped our 32 guests with flights, both international and domestic. We have organized and coordinated an entire 2 weeks of vacation, hotels, transportation within country and activities for our guests. We've answered questions about converters, vaccinations and money exchange. We've had my wedding gown and bridesmaids dresses shipped all over the U.S. and to China in order for everyone to have the right measurements...for everything.

* THE CEREMONY. In order to not let my Western traditions take over, I've really leaned on Tony for some ideas about how to incorporate Chinese customs into our ceremony. We've decided to do the traditional Chinese tea ceremony as a part of the Western-style program. This is where we honor our parents by serving them tea and when they drink the tea, they are accepting us into their family. We've also asked my Chinese sister, Yiqi, to sing a popular Chinese looooove song for our music during the ceremony. And, of course if you remember the Hunan wedding, there will be toasts. Yes, there will be many toasts... :) And along with the Chinese aspects we're also doing a sand ceremony (much like the unity candle), wearing Western wedding attire and having our loved ones stand up with us. We have a live jazz band to play for our garden reception and we're even including a bit of Thai tradition...more to come on this later! My sister is REALLY disappointed that we're not riding elephants into the ceremony...yes, this was actually offered. :)

* OTHER DETAILS. In case you're interested, here's the resort where we're celebrating and will be spending our first week in Thailand: http://www.bellevillaresort.com/chiangmai/index.php (the second week will be spent in Krabi, an oceanside city). Be prepared for a LOT of stories and pictures to come later!

Oh...and I hope I didn't make this blog sound like all of these things have been a burden for me to take care of. In all honesty, I've really enjoyed planning the trip and helping all the guests with their plans. After planning numerous trips over the past 3 years for friends visiting China and now planning this ceremony, I believe I have a new career calling....

Glimpse into a Chinese Hospital

I've written a few times before about the Chinese hospital system but recently I heard some other stories and I just can't help but retell them here. My friend, Zhang Zhe, just had a baby and I got to hear the whole story from her and her American husband, Lonnie. Wow...the differences in the medical system here and what I'm used to are immense! Below are a few of the biggest (and most shocking) differences:

* When Zhang Zhe's water broke, she went with her mother to the closest hospital, the one in which she was hoping to give birth. She wasn't sure if it was actually time to stay at the hospital or not but she wanted to at least get a check-up. When she got there, at least 4 other pregnant woman were also waiting...not in the waiting area but in the actual office of the obstetrician. All of them were making their appeals to the doctor, "My water broke!" "I'm having contractions!" The doctor barely skimmed over them as a check-up and looked at their medical records (more to come on this later). She glanced at the women again, including Zhang Zhe, and pointed at ZZ saying, "You can stay." Then, to ZZ's mom, "You'd better go downstairs and get her a gurney." To the rest of the women she murmured, "We don't have any beds available for you, you need to find another hospital." So, even though some of them were possibly close to going into labor, the reality was that that hospital just didn't have enough room...so onto the next hospital they went. (ZZ was later told that the doctor got into trouble for even taking her because they really had NO room).

* When you go to see a doctor in China, you are rarely (if ever) able to see the same doctor. Just like in the U.S., there are doctors with different specializations but the idea of a "family doctor" is almost unheard of. So, on your first visit to the hospital you are given a small, green book and you take that with you from counter to counter - they write in it what kind of check-up you received, what diagnosis you were given, and what meds they put you on. The next time you go to the hospital, you can choose a completely different one...just take along your green book and the doctor can see what your past treatments were. This is why the doctor was so easily able to turn away those pregnant women - there's no connection, no sense of "seeing a woman through her entire pregnancy," just luck of the draw. If you try to plan it, you MIGHT see the same doctor more than once and MIGHT get them when you give birth but there are no guarantees...they are certainly not calling specific doctors to come in during the middle of the night if their patient goes into labor!

* Another huge difference between the two systems is the way you are cared for once you're in the hospital. In America, the nurses do everything, right? Not so in China. While in the hospital you must have a family or friend with you at all times because they are giving you the individual care you need, not the nurses. Your friends/family prepare your food, take you to the bathroom, clean you, change whatever needs to be changed, etc. That's why ZZ's mom was told to go get the gurney for her...and why it was SO important that her mom was there - otherwise she would have to get the gurney herself??

* During labor, NO ONE is allowed into the room with the woman...especially not her husband! So the poor man has to wait outside until his is given the OK to go back in. In Lonnie's situation, he was told that ZZ's C-section would take about 1 hour and nearly 3 hours later she still hadn't returned...you can imagine the panic going on in his mind while he waited with no word of how she was doing!! After the baby is born, the grandpa or grandma will follow that baby around the hospital while she/he is taken for tests and check-ups. Baby snatching has become a problem in China and everyone knows that so they won't let the baby out of their sight!

There are a lot of other details, of a personal nature, that I won't include here! :) But at least you get a small idea of what it's like to have a baby in China. When the time comes for me, I think I'll be choosing Home Sweet Home!

Come to the Dark Side

I've been horrible about blogging lately, I know, but things are just busy! It's a phase...

I do want to write briefly about the wedding that I attended this morning...a former colleague of Tony and a guy that I know pretty well, too. While we were waiting for the ceremony to begin they were showing a slideshow of pictures with music. One of the songs was, "Bleeding Love." Ah, how romantic. ;) As the bride and groom were getting ready to enter the room the music switched for the entrance of the groom to - the Star Wars theme song. And when the bride entered? Of course the only logical song to play at a time like that...the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song. Hehehe. I'm going to try to convince Tony that we should change our song...who needs Canon in D anyways?? Haha!!!

Unfortunately, I had to leave after about 30 minutes to go to work...I can't wait to hear stories from the rest of the wedding!