A student and I went to buy train tickets to go to Inner Mongolia and, for any place with an organized system, this task would be accomplished in the blink of an eye. Not so...at the train station. We ran from one line to the next, looking at signs that either gave us the wrong information or such a lack of information that we felt like puppy Rocco as he desperately tried to catch his tail. We attempted the tried-and-true method of asking people - other ticket buyers, security officers, ticket sellers, our taxi driver, even the lady trying to sell cheap newspapers outside the station. The response that we got over and over and over again was a wave of the hand in a certain direction and the comment, "over there" or "go that way." After about an hour of running back and forth in the directions people pointed us I realized the conundrum we had gotten into. These people didn't have any more of a clue where we should go than we did BUT they wanted to "save face" and in order for "face saving" to occur, they had to give us some direction rather than saying, "I don't know..."
Face. What is it?
"Face is the desire to not appear weak or to look bad in the eyes of others. Face is all about the other people viewing you and not about the person."
Well, there we go! Now none of you should have any other questions about the importance of the Olympics to the Chinese, right? Face! The reason that everyone at the train station was pointing us here, there, that way and the other way is so that they wouldn't lose face for not knowing. Face!
It gets even more interesting. Face can be saved, face can be given, face can be taken away, and face can be lost. Some examples... In my previous blog I wrote about our weekly G.A.O. I found out during one of these sessions that Chinese wives will often do all they can to give face to their husbands when they are out in public. They will talk up how hard their husbands work or how much money they bring home or what a great job they have - all in the name of "giving face" to their husbands. It's not necessary for them to do this within their home, just when they are out in public. Sometimes, wives will even lose their own face, if it means saving the face of their husband.
Now that I'm writing I can think of a million examples! I will just sum up with a few others (you know, in order not to lose my own face if you think this blog is too long!) By the way, if you want to "save my face" don't tell me it's too long but if you want to "take face" from me, then go ahead and tell me it was torturous to read! :) Have I lost you yet?
As a teacher I am never supposed to tell my students, "I don't know," in order to save my own face. During the times I have judged various competitions I have had to make speeches about how well the competition was run, how much I enjoyed it and how well the students did in order for the organizers of the competition to "gain face." Little did I know until reflecting on this that I am constantly contributing to the loss or gain of face!
I hope this wasn't too confusing and actually gave you some helpful insight! I'm exhausted.... :)
It gets even more interesting. Face can be saved, face can be given, face can be taken away, and face can be lost. Some examples... In my previous blog I wrote about our weekly G.A.O. I found out during one of these sessions that Chinese wives will often do all they can to give face to their husbands when they are out in public. They will talk up how hard their husbands work or how much money they bring home or what a great job they have - all in the name of "giving face" to their husbands. It's not necessary for them to do this within their home, just when they are out in public. Sometimes, wives will even lose their own face, if it means saving the face of their husband.
Now that I'm writing I can think of a million examples! I will just sum up with a few others (you know, in order not to lose my own face if you think this blog is too long!) By the way, if you want to "save my face" don't tell me it's too long but if you want to "take face" from me, then go ahead and tell me it was torturous to read! :) Have I lost you yet?
As a teacher I am never supposed to tell my students, "I don't know," in order to save my own face. During the times I have judged various competitions I have had to make speeches about how well the competition was run, how much I enjoyed it and how well the students did in order for the organizers of the competition to "gain face." Little did I know until reflecting on this that I am constantly contributing to the loss or gain of face!
I hope this wasn't too confusing and actually gave you some helpful insight! I'm exhausted.... :)
1 comment:
I totally sympathize.
All our culture training tells us to learn and learn and withhold judgment for a long time when dealing with characteristics unique to another culture.
But with 'face,' I have a really hard time not thinking bad things about it. And there are famous Chinese writers who criticize the face aspect of the culture. One author says it's the only thing Chinese love more than money.
Every coin has two sides right? I wish someone would show me the 'good' side of the face coin, because I'm having trouble finding it on my own.
Post a Comment